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From recent police incident reports (all names are made up):

April 5, 4:30 p.m.
2323 Wisconsin Avenue
Pickpocket

Sally was shopping in Whole Foods, wearing her shoulder bag. She later discovered that her wallet was missing.


April 10, 11:50 p.m.
Near 2505 Wisconsin Avenue
Assault with intent to rob

Rachel, a guest of the Savoy Suites Hotel, was approached by Bob, who tugged on her purse, grabbed her left arm, and said, “Give me your pocketbook.”

Rachel responded, “Fuck you,” at which point Bob punched her in the jaw, where she’d recently had surgery, dislocating it. He then fled the scene without her purse.

Rachel returned to her hotel room, called her daughter, and passed out.


April 11, 2 p.m.
Wisconsin Avenue and Calvert Street
Assault on a police officer

Bill was walking south on Wisconsin Avenue when Jim walked up to him, said, “Get out of the way, faggot,” and kicked him in the back of his right leg.

Jim then approached Sue, who was accompanied by Sam, and asked, “Do you want some of this?” Sue got into the passenger side of her vehicle and closed the door.

Jim then approached Sam, who had gotten into the driver’s side of the vehicle, and asked, “Do you want some of this?” Sam identified himself as a police officer and showed Jim his badge.

Jim balled up his fists and took a fighting stance, and Sam told him to back down. Sam called for backup and held Jim until reinforcements arrived.

Sam suffered lacerations and abrasions but refused medical assistance at the scene. Jim suffered abrasions and was taken to Sibley Hospital for treatment, then transported to the Second District. He was charged with assaulting a police officer.


April 21, 1:30 p.m.
2450 Wisconsin Avenue
Robbery by fear

Ralph entered the gas station wearing a black ski mask, placed his hand in his pocket, and told Fritz, the cashier, “Give me the money.” Fritz, who feared Ralph had a weapon, backed away.

Ralph then opened the cash drawers for two registers and stole $300. He also stole $150 and a cell phone from Fritz.

Ralph then fled, heading west on Calvert Street. Fritz chased him. He didn’t catch Ralph, but he saw Ralph drop cash on the ground. Fritz picked up the cash and put it in his pocket. Ralph was last seen headed northbound on Tunlaw.


April 21, 8:00 p.m.
2323 Wisconsin Avenue
Pickpocket

Gretchen was shopping at Whole Foods, with her open purse in her shopping cart. She turned away from the cart. When she later went to pay, her wallet was missing.

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