From recent police incident reports (all names are made up):
July 10, between 9 and 10 p.m.
Miriam left her purse hanging on the back of a chair at Bourbon. She later discovered that someone had stolen her wallet.
Between July 20, 10 p.m., and July 21, 7 p.m.
Theft from auto
Luigi parked his white 2005 Chevy van at the Holiday Inn. When he came back, his window had been smashed and his Dewalt drill was missing.
July 23, 7:40 p.m.
Travis went to the Safeway, picked up 18 DVDs (or CDs, or videos—the police report isn’t clear), put them inside a bag, and put the bag under his shirt. A store employee stopped him and called police. Travis was arrested.
July 24, 2:30 p.m.
Bernard entered the Savoy Suites Hotel through the front door and walked through the bar and into an unlocked closet. He stole a silver Dolce and Gabbana bag and fled south on Wisconsin on a bicycle.
August 1, 8:30 p.m.
Bertram went into Whole Foods and stole sex enhancement pills.